Category Archives: Funny

More lolz from people who are afraid of teh gayz

Readers may recall that back in October, I posted an email I received from a hilarious group known as Public Advocate of the United States, who think that the “radical homosexual lobby” is seeking to destroy American life as we know it. I’ve gotten more emails since then, and they are always incredibly overblown with fearmongering and the persecution complex of Public Advocate’s president, Eugene Delgaudio. Here’s an excerpt from one of them:

Sometimes, I am afraid that without your support, I too will be forced to give in to the Radical Homosexual Lobby and stop fighting against their perverted agenda. My friends, I am tired. My health is suffering under the strain of fighting the Radical Homosexual Lobby with limited help.  I can’t eat, I can’t sleep and I am sick with worry.

Oh noes! The poor guy – he’s making himself sick working so hard at his bigotry.

But maybe he isn’t so poor, after all. According to one blogger’s recent report, Public Advocate is most likely a one-man show, and Eugene Delgaudio is making upwards of $170,000 a year asking other people for money. Apparently there are enough people who are frightened by Delgadio’s “teh gayz are in our country, destroyin’ all our valuez”  schtick that they will give him money to combat the growing Gay Scare!

It just goes to show you – you can’t assume an organization is legitimate (or even extant) just because someone made up a website claiming so (a really ugly one, at that). And for god’s sake don’t give your money to these people. Eugene Delgaudio is a fraud, and hopefully he’ll get in trouble for it sooner rather than later.


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Making sense of Christianity

I like this a lot.

Dear Evangelical Christians:

God here.

First, I do not exist. The concept of a 13,700,000,000 year old being, capable of creating the entire universe and its billions of galaxies, monitoring simultaneously the thoughts and actions of the 7 billion human beings on this planet is ludicrous. Grow a brain.

Second, if I did, I would have left you a book a little more consistent, timeless and independently verifiable than the collection of Iron Age Middle Eastern mythology you call the Bible. Hell, I bet you cannot tell me one thing about any of its authors, their credibility or their possible ulterior motives, yet you cite them for the most extraordinary of claims…

Click here for the rest.

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Filed under Atheism, Creationism, Funny, Religion

A doozy of an email

UPDATE: Do not fill out the survey yourself. It appears that the actual questions don’t matter, and signing the survey adds one’s name to an anti-gay petition.


I took part in a survey the other day, at the suggestion of PZ Myers. An anti-gay organization called Public Advocate of the United States is asking for people to take their survey and let their views be heard on the “radical homosexual agenda.” Of course, the only views they want to be heard are their own, so as a group of people who really don’t support anti-gay views, PZ’s readers decided to skew the survey a bit in our favor.

The amusing part was what happened after I filled it out. Just this morning, Public Advocate sent me an email, thanking me for my support! Even though all of my responses disagreed with their views! Apparently, Public Advocate didn’t intend for their survey to reach anyone outside their own narrow-minded audience. The only answers they expected to get to their survey were the “right” answers, according to them. What a wonderful way to highlight the self-serving nature of what they’re doing.

And the email they sent really is a doozy. I’ve copied it below, and added in my own comments [gratuitous emphasis theirs].

Dear Tim,

Thank you for your recently signed petition.  I am excited to know you are an American who is willing to take a stand for pro-family values.

Pro-family values? I love family! Who wouldn’t take a stand for that?

Here at Public Advocate, fighting for and defending the family values our nation was founded on is what we are all about.

If you are looking for a hard-hitting pro-family organization with a history of victories against the growing radical Homosexual Lobby, look no further than Public Advocate of the United States.

Say what now?

So… “pro-family” is just a nice-sounding word you use to describe bigotry? Ok, got it.

Founded in 1981, Public Advocate quickly took center stage as the nation’s leading family advocate with over 400,000 united pro-family activists.

Time after time, Public Advocate has beaten back the attempts of the Homosexual Lobby to pass legislation aimed at making homosexuals a special class of citizens.

You mean legislation aimed at giving them the same rights as everyone.

But, victories these days have been harder and harder to come by.

Which is why I so excited to have your signed petition!

It was a survey. And I disagreed with everything on your agenda.

With it, I will prove to Congress that the American people still hold traditional family values dear.

Yes, like the right to persecute those who are different than you. It’s what America was founded on.

And if you believe the threat of the Homosexual Lobby is being blown out of proportion, think again.

At this very moment, individuals and organizations with hundreds of millions of dollars that comprise the Homosexual Lobby are working to pass their radical agenda.

Here are just a few names and organizations you may recognize: Tim Gill, Barney Frank, Pat Stryker, Jared Polis, Cindy and Meghan McCain, The Advocate, GLAAD, and the Human Rights Campaign.

All of these people are working towards what they call “equal rights” for homosexuals, when in reality, the rights they are trying to acquire would be unique to homosexuals only.

Oh, really? I’d like some evidence for that.

A Thought Control bill was just recently passed.  This bill puts into law regulations that deem so-called “hate speech” as illegal.

Uh… no. The Hate Crimes Prevention Act (which is attached to a defense authorization bill)  makes it a federal hate crime to assault someone because of their sexual orientation, gender, or gender identity. It was already a hate crime to assault someone based on race, religion, or national origin. This bill just adds protection for more marginalized groups.

The only thing the bill says about speech is that it is protected:

Nothing in this division, or an amendment made by this division, shall be construed or applied in a manner that infringes any rights under the first amendment to the Constitution of the United States. Nor shall anything in this division, or an amendment made by this division, be construed or applied in a manner that substantially burdens a person’s exercise of religion (regardless of whether compelled by, or central to, a system of religious belief), speech, expression, or association, unless the Government demonstrates that application of the burden to the person is in furtherance of a compelling governmental interest and is the least restrictive means of furthering that compelling governmental interest, if such exercise of religion, speech, expression, or association was not intended to—

(A) plan or prepare for an act of physical violence; or
(B) incite an imminent act of physical violence against another.

Now back to our friends at Public Advocate…

This has me worried, and I hope you are too.  Because who is to say what language will be considered hate speech?

Don’t believe me?  In Canada and Europe pastors have been thrown in jail for preaching Biblical teachings against homosexuality.

That’s awful. Good thing the aforementioned US bill protects speech, and outlaws assault.

This very well may be the reality of Thought Control in the United States.

I’m betting a lot of you guys are Christian. Have you read your Bible?

Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

That’s thoughtcrime, buddy.

I hope you know how serious this issue really is.

Which is why, as President of Public Advocate, I have devoted my life to protecting family values and defending our freedoms.

You mean playing the victim card to justify continued persecution of people you don’t like?

I want to leave a legacy I am proud of, knowing the United States is still the nation I grew up in.

But without your support, this year alone we could see Barney Frank’s so-called “Employment Non-Discrimination Act” put into law.

We call this the “Gay Bill of Special Rights” because it doesn’t eliminate discrimination, it destroys workplace protection from radical homosexuals whose only mission is to spread their agenda.

If passed, the Gay Bill of Special Rights would require workplaces to meet a quota of homosexual employees, forcing employers to choose a radical homosexual over a potentially more qualified candidate.

Actually the bill explicitly bans preferential treatment or quotas. But hey – why tell the truth when lies are so much easier?

And no workplace will be exempt.  Churches, daycares, nursing homes, private schools, you name it, all will have to adhere to these regulations.

And Obama is even looking to push for the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” this year, which would remove the protection our soldiers have from the Homosexual Lobby.

Um, that’s already happened. Our military is being overrun by gays at this very moment. Pretty soon our military power will be in shambles, just like Canada, Germany, England, Australia, Israel, Italy, Russia, Spain, Sweden, and thirty-three other countries that allow homosexuals to serve.

And even the Healthcare bill is filled with numerous paybacks to homosexuals, giving lower healthcare premiums to “unmarried” homosexuals than married couples, all paid for at taxpayer expense.

Why is “unmarried” in quotes? Domestic partners aren’t married. We don’t allow them to marry. That’s wrong, but at least we try to address the inequality by giving them some of the same benefits as married couples.

I hope you understand this threat is real. . . and imminent.

And I also hope you will consider making a donation to Public Advocate to help protect our family values.

Public Advocate will never waver from the firm conviction that political decisions should begin and end with the best interests of American families and communities in mind, and that marriage is a sacred union between one man and one woman.

Public Advocate has been 100% dependent on the financial support of contributors, we do not receive any government or taxpayer money, nor do we want it.

I would appreciate it if you could help support Public Advocate by making a charitable contribution, please click here.

No matter the amount, be it $5 or $50 or more, every dollar you give is greatly appreciated and will go a long way towards defending our pro-family values.

It is my hope to keep you up-to-date on the fight for pro-family values through email alerts.

There are some tough battles coming up very soon and I am going to need your help if we are to win.

Thank you for your support.


Eugene Delgaudio
Public Advocate of the U.S.

There you have it – the sad tale of an oppressed minority in the United States, who want only to enjoy the same inequalities of freedom that they always have.


Filed under First Amendment, Free Speech, Funny, Government, Homosexuality, Human Rights, Marriage

Lolz in the New York Post

I had to post this. When I saw the front page of the New York Post today, I busted out laughing in the supermarket.

NY Post front page

A COP SAVED A GIRL FROM COMMITTING SUICIDE! (Oh yeah and the senate passed the gay marriage bill.)

What a shitty newspaper.

Anyway, this is great news for gay couples! Congrats New York and everyone who fought for this bill!

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Filed under Funny, Government, Homosexuality, Marriage, News