Tag Archives: feminism

Some advice for teenage girls, and boys, and… everybody

My friend Carsie pointed me to a blog post in which a mother gives teenage girls some advice. Kimberly Hall asks young women not to post scantily-clad pictures of themselves on social media, because that would encourage her sons to only think about girls in a sexual way! Oh no!

Carsie tweeted an appropriate response, as well as coined the hashtag #solidarityselfie. So I’m uploading my own solidarity selfie here (because I don’t use Twitter).

#solidarityselfie

Man, I look so slutty in this picture.

I encourage you to blog/tweet your own #solidarityselfie! Hall’s sons, as well as all people, need to learn to control their responses to other people’s choices, rather than control other people’s choices.

And the funny thing about Hall’s post is that she says she’s trying to raise her sons with a strong moral compass. The thing about compasses, though, is that they always point north. It doesn’t matter what else lay to the south, east, or west – the compass always points north. That’s what it means to have a strong moral compass – you follow your conscience no matter what others are doing. Why doesn’t Hall try that?

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Filed under Women's Issues

Oppressing women, the Christian way

A couple of weeks ago I posted on the ludicrous bit of misogyny that is Kirk Cameron’s “marriage-strengthening event.” I said that it was important to recognize that the Christian teaching that women were meant to be helpers and servants to men is sadly not uncommon. I provided a link to a news article that quoted Michele Bachmann, a current candidate for President of the United States, saying that wives should submit to their husbands.

GirlWell, there’s more where that came from. Lots more. Ophelia Benson has been posting quite a bit lately on the Quiverfull and Christian Patriarchy movements. These movements are made up of families in which daughters are raised to cheerfully embrace their God-given roles as servants to their future husbands. They are trained to handle massive amounts of domestic work, to eschew “worldly” things like aspirations or higher education, and to be whatever the men in their lives want them to be.

Libby Anne is a former daughter of Christian patriarchy who has emerged as a prolific writer and critic of the movement. From the summary of her upbringing:

Daughters of Christian Patriarchy are essentially servants in their own homes, but this does not mean they are necessarily miserable and unhappy. While some daughters of Christian Patriarchy rebel and inwardly resent how they are being raised, most don’t. Most accept what their parents teach them as true, and look forward to their wedding day as the beginning of their lives. This was me. I was perfectly happy to help with my younger siblings and cook for a dozen and do load after load of laundry. At age ten, twelve, or fourteen, I was being trained to be a “helpmeet” to my future husband, preparing for my life’s role by working alongside my mother and serving as junior “helpmeet” to my father. I dreamed of my wedding constantly, and thought of what a wonderful wife, mother, and homemaker I would be. A wife and mother was all I wanted to be, because any dream of anything else was nipped in the bud before it ever took root. I truly believed that this was what God wanted of me, and that serving my family and raising my siblings was serving God. And I gloried in it.

Of course the girls are not just forced into their roles, but indoctrinated into it. They are taught to want the subservient roles that men (and their God!) have prepared for them. Another escapee of the movement writes:

It sounded so romantic when I was ages 10-13. I was going to be amazing someday! My husband was going to be pleased that I was so good at caring for children and keeping house. I was practicing submission to my father, taking it very seriously whenever he pointed out some behaviour of mine that “would infuriate my husband someday.” He knew what God wanted, and what men wanted. If I wanted to be successful and happy someday, I had to start by pleasing my Daddy.

Frightening, yes – but the heartbreaking part is what happened as she got older.

I put my whole self into my role as a stay-at-home daughter. I loved studying, but I couldn’t keep up with my self-taught high school materials and get all of my work done, so I gradually fell further and further behind. But school wasn’t as important as pleasing God. Sometimes I wished that I had the chance to study more than just cooking, cleaning and sewing, and I did ask my parents if I could take some classes while living at home, but I was reminded that it would only be a waste of time and money to go to college when none of that education would apply in the home. A college atmosphere could take my focus off the Lord, and fill my head with thoughts of career and rebellion. After some begging on my part, Dad said he would permit me to take a few online courses from a very conservative school if I insisted, but it was clear that this was not what he felt was wise. He also said that I had to finish all my high school material first, and that my school work could in no way interfere with my household duties. I was so overwhelmed at the thought of trying to keep both my father and a school happy, that I gave up on the idea of further education.

Heartbreaking.

Keep in mind that Christian patriarchy is just a few steps removed from the complementarianism espoused by most evangelical Christians and Catholics, who teach that men and women have separate God-given roles. As Libby Anne explains in her piece above, Christian patriarchy simply takes these beliefs to their natural conclusion.

I was reminded of these similarities just yesterday, when I learned that a popular American evangelist and author was instructing Christians not to listen to another popular evangelist and author because she’s a woman. Quote,

But I don’t want to get into a relationship of listening or attending a church where a woman is becoming my pastor, my shepherd or my authority. I think that would be an unhealthy thing for a man to do.

Yes, it’s fine to learn the occasional thing or two from a woman, but don’t learn too much! Then you might have to admit that a woman had something to teach you, that she’s something more than a follower and a servant.

And we can’t have that.

Image source: seriousbri

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Filed under Human Rights, Relationships, Religion